Physical Attributes

1. Genderwise, I am: No Answer/Alternate Answer male (umm.. try a different form) female unsure (umm.. )
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. Agewise, I am: No Answer/Alternate Answer under 18 (jailbait) between 18 and 22 between 23 and 29 between 30 and 39 between 40 and 49 between 50 and 59 between 60 and 69 between 70 and 6 ft. under 19...with experience Age isn't important!
   Alternate answer/comment:

3. Heightwise, I am: No Answer/Alternate Answer a Smurf between 3' and 4' between 4' and 4'6" between 4'6" and 5' between 5' and 5'6" between 5'6" and 6' between 6' and 7' an Amazon Height isn't important!
   Alternate answer/comment:

4. Weightwise, I am: No Answer/Alternate Answer lighter than air slightly heavier than air under 100# between 100# and 120# between 120# and 140# between 140# and 160# between 160# and 200# between 200# and 250# between 250# and 300# between 300# and 500# on Weight Watchers on Jenny Craig I ate Jenny Craig Weight isn't important!
   Alternate answer/comment:

5. My eyes are: No Answer/Alternate Answer brown blue green hazel purple different colors near the top of my head
   Alternate answer/comment:

6. Colorwise, my hair is: No Answer/Alternate Answer brunette blonde red green purple blue white invisible Hair color isn't important!
   Alternate answer/comment:

7. Lengthwise, my hair is: No Answer/Alternate Answer down to my feet down to my waist down to my shoulders just plain down shorter than Sinead O' Connor's inside my scalp
   Alternate answer/comment:

8. Bra size:

9. My breasts are: No Answer/Alternate Answer like watermelons like grapefruits like oranges like grapes like...around here somewhere similar to each other Breast size isn't important!
   Alternate answer/comment:

10. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your looks? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Work/Play

1. Popularity-wise, I have: No Answer/Alternate Answer many friends a few close friends only imaginary friends not even imaginary friends uhh, does the Internet count?
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. My best friend is: No Answer/Alternate Answer female male imaginary dead my dog my cat a small squirrel who was nice to me this morning
   Alternate answer/comment:

3. At work, I'm most likely to use the following phrase: No Answer/Alternate Answer (I don't work) Let's have a meeting to discuss that I'll have the network back up in a jiffy This code can be made more efficient Boy, this is heavy I see great things in your future! Ya want fries with that? Let me ask my pimp. Will work for food
   Alternate answer/comment:

Interests/Hobbies

1. I like dogs: No Answer/Alternate Answer as pets as someone else's pets more than I like people in ways that cannot be imagined in a light vinegar sauce I don't like dogs
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. I like cats: No Answer/Alternate Answer as pets as someone else's pets more than I like people in ways that cannot be imagined in a light vinegar sauce I don't like cats
   Alternate answer/comment:

3. Computer-wise, I: No Answer/Alternate Answer am computer-illiterate know how to cruise WWW can play video games can play Doom can write video games am altering this form as I fill it out
   Alternate answer/comment:

4. Musically, my tastes run towards: No Answer/Alternate Answer boring classical music teeth-grinding heavy metal melody-less rap music incoherent jazz short-lived popular rock Jurassic rock these answers are biased!
   Alternate answer/comment:

5. Drinker:
   Yes No Occasionally
   Average number of drinks per week:

6. Smoker:
   Yes No Occasionally
   Average packs of cigarettes smoked per week:

7. Drug User:
   Yes No Occasionally
   Average days per week drugs are used:

   List types of drugs used:
   

8. Piercings:
   Yes No
   If yes, where?
   

9. Hobbies:
   

10. Hang Ups:
    

11. You would describe yourself as:
    

12. Plans for the Future:
    

13. Favorite Music:
    

14. Favorite Movie:
    

15. Favorite Book:

16. Favorite Author:

17. Favorite Foods:
    

18. Favorite season: spring summer fall winter

19. Favorite flower:
    

20. Favorite sport:
    

21. Favorite perfume:
    

22. Favorite scent on a man:
    

23. Favorite possession:
    

24. Do you collect anything?
    Yes No
    If yes, what?
    

Personal Beliefs

1. Religion: No Answer/Alternate Answer UnSpecified Jewish Christian Muslum Hindu Athiest Pagan
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. In your religion, are you: headed for godhood/sainthood Highly active/practicing I like my religion well enough My testimony's a little shaky I'm going to Hell

3. Attitude: UnSpecified Optimist Depressed Pessimist Middle of the Road

4. Assertiveness: UnSpecified Submissive Easy to get along with Middle of the Road Very bossy at times Dominant Everything has to be done my way

5. I believe women are: No Answer/Alternate Answer inferior to men superior to men equal to men inferior in some ways, superior in others not all alike more equal than men a threat
   Alternate answer/comment:

6. A woman's place is: No Answer/Alternate Answer in the workforce in the kitchen in the bedroom with her man on the Internet wherever she may roam
   Alternate answer/comment:

7. Life: No Answer/Alternate Answer is a gift is a challenge is what you make of it is brought to you live without commercial interupption is a game by Parker Brothers sucks has the answer of 42
   Alternate answer/comment:

Intelligence

1. Estimated IQ: No Answer/Alternate Answer uhhh, what's an IQ? below 80 between 80 and 100 between 100 and 120 between 120 and 150 PSIQ or VIQ? Stanford-Binet or Princeton scoring?
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. I majored/am majoring in: No Answer/Alternate Answer I haven't attended college mathematics computer science other science/engineering visual communication design psychology biology administration registration prestadigitation meditation deforestation a radio station fornication
   Alternate answer/comment:

3. Highest level of education completed: No Answer/Alternate Answer none elementary school middle school/junior high school high school bachelor's degree master's degree doctoral degree post-doctoral work I can count to 10 I got a degree from Salley Struthers
   Alternate answer/comment:

4. The Internet is: No Answer/Alternate Answer a network of independant computers working together a source of information and entertainment something Netscape invented full of all sorts of raunchy stuff really peachy keen a great place for meeting guys
   Alternate answer/comment:

5. MENSA is: No Answer/Alternate Answer a group of psuedo-intellectual snobs a small constellation in the southern hemisphere both of the above
   Alternate answer/comment:

Compatibility

1. I think Dan is: No Answer/Alternate Answer unusually cute boyishly handsome dashingly sexy drop-dead gorgeous I haven't seen his picture Why aren't there more choices?
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. My idea of the perfect evening is: No Answer/Alternate Answer dinner and a movie dinner and dancing dinner, a cigarette, a blindfold, and a priest a walk under the stars bar hopping something completely spontaneous and unpredictable watching sitcoms at home anything, as long as I can spend it with Dan spending it with someone other than Dan washing my hair
   Alternate answer/comment:

3. Your idea of a good time is: No Answer/Alternate Answer Most anything positive Impressing your date Anything, as long as your friends won't think you're wierd or a sissy Anything Mummy approves is fine Anything society doesn't approve of
   Alternate answer/comment:

4. I want to be Dan's girlfriend because: No Answer/Alternate Answer well, who doesn't? his loneliness calls to me I am clinically insane I am cynical and sane I am a masochist if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere I have very low self-esteem I lost a bet he makes me hot I want to make love to him like a crazed weasel
   Alternate answer/comment:

5. define "love":

6. Rank these 4 things in importance to you! 1> Love Sex Respect Trust 2> Love Sex Respect Trust 3> Love Sex Respect Trust 4> Love Sex Respect Trust

7. Which of the following things do want from a realtionship?
   • Love
   • Trust
   • Sex
   • Friendship
   • Cuddling
   • Kissing
   • Sleeping while cuddling with the person
   • Honesty
   • Compassion
   • Someone to share things with
   • Romance

8. Kind of Relationship preferred: No Answer/Alternate Answer Casual sex with no strings Love/Hate Just Friends Parasite/Host Co-dependant Committed Marriage...forever
   Alternate answer/comment:

9. Date you can start:
   

Sexual Preferences

1. Are you a virgin:
   Yes No
   If no, how many partners?

2. Have you ever made love to another woman?
   Yes No
   If not, would you like to? Yes No

3. How often do you enjoy having sex? No Answer/Alternate Answer Never Only when I want to get pregnant A few times a year Perhaps once a month Once a week Two or three times a week Every other day Every day As often as possible
   Alternate answer/comment:

4. What are you favorite sex positions and fantasies:

5. Do you enjoy group sex? Yes No

6. Would you pose for nude photographs? Yes No

7. How about erotic videos? Yes No

8. Can you tie cherry stems in knots with your tongue? Yes No

9. Can you tie a bowline with it? Yes No

10. Will you bring other women back to sleep with me? Yes No

11. Will you perform the Yoni Tantra with me? Yes No

12. Do you know what the Yoni Tantra is? Yes No

Miscellaneous Stuff

1. Who's the toughest chick: No Answer/Alternate Answer Xena Buffy Nikita
   Alternate answer/comment:

2. If I were a flavor of ice cream, I'd be: No Answer/Alternate Answer vanilla chocolate licorice pistacho almond melting in your arms confused by this question
   Alternate answer/comment:

3. The answer to the mysterious dirty hidden question is: No Answer/Alternate Answer my birthday suit a rear-view mirror Prince!...and I am funky! on a pedestal under a glass moon down in front
   Alternate answer/comment:

4. Please explain in 1000 words or more, with the advent of the medium, fine, and think point ball point pens, how will this impact reindeer trade in Scandinavia?

5. How do you feel about the Northern League's party stance for the secession of Italy into three separate nations?

6. Do you know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

7. Is that an African or a European swallow? African European

8. Can I borrow your clothes? Yes No

9. Can I keep them? Yes No

   If yes, what size do you wear?
   

Section Three: References

1. Name:

Email:

Relationship:

Years known:

2. Name:

Email:

Relationship:

Years known:

Section Four: Former Boyfriends:

1. Length (month & year )
From: to:

Name:

Email:

Position:

Reason for leaving:

2. Length (month & year )
From: to:

Name:

Email:

Position:

Reason for leaving:

3. Length (month & year )
From: to:

Name:

Email:

Position:

Reason for leaving:

Do you currently have a boyfriend? Yes No
If yes, may I inquire with him? Yes No
Where can he be reached?

Short Essay/Comments

1. In 500 words or less (or a very graphic photo), why would you be a good choice for my girlfriend?
   

2. Any additional information you think I should know:
   

3. What question would you add to this form?
   

Short Form

OK, there's a lot of question here. If you really want to apply and just can't make it through all these questions, try the short form.

Section Five: Authorization

I certify that the facts contained in this application are true and complete to the best of my knowledge and understand that if picked up, falsified statements on this application shall be grounds for dumping.

I authorize investigation of all statements contained herein and the references and former boyfriends listed above to give you any and all information concerning my previous relationships and any pertinent information they may have, personal and otherwise, and release these parties from all liability for any damage that may result from utilization of such information.
Check the box to agree with the above statement.